Give me Jesus
messageofhope | Reflection | Sunday July 18 2010Integrating Faith and Sports
Gospel: Lk 10:38-42
Week of 7/18/10
Brett Illig
Founder/Director
The Message of Hope Foundation
In this past week’s Gospel, Jesus is asking us to be mindful of only one thing.
Jesus entered a village where a woman whose name was Martha welcomed him. She had a sister named Mary who sat beside the Lord at his feet listening to him speak. Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me.” The Lord said to her in reply, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.” Lk 10: 38-42
“Give me Jesus”
There is a running joke in our men’s spirituality group about the mounting list of questions we have if any of us is blessed enough to make it to the gates of heaven…here are a couple more as it pertains to this gospel. What is it that makes Martha so upset? Why doesn’t Martha say something directly to Mary? What are the unmet expectations that Martha may have? Could this be the recipe of our resentment and anger, our unmet personal expectations?
I am a terrible golfer. I play maybe about 5 times a year. I enjoy golfing because my expectations are very low. I know that this is a game of repetition, and the more you play and find yourself on the practice range the better and more consistent you are going to be on the tee box. Playing sports all of my life, this recipe is pretty standard across not only every sport but many things in life. The more you practice, the better you become, always with limitations.
Usually the first time on the golf course every year I am pleasantly surprised at the outcome. It still isn’t very good on a golfer scale, but for my scale, not bad. There is no pressure, no anger when I hook a shot into the trees, and no feeling of resentment when a friend sinks a birdie putt from 40 ft. while I tap in my 4th putt for triple bogey. It is a freeing feeling, and a feeling I rarely ever felt in the sports arena. It is low-drama, low-expectations, just an openness to reality and truth.
However, by about the forth time out on the course, usually with weeks in between never picking up a golf club, why is it that I become frustrated hooking that same shot? Do I really think that because this is my forth time out on the golf course, I should be hitting fairways and greens? What expectations do I have? Do the way I react to certain shots depend on who I am playing with? Does my anger and resentment on the golf course come from unreal expectations and posturing? Is this the same recipe for Martha’s resentment toward Mary?
Maybe Martha resented Mary because she had expectations of what things were supposed to be when Jesus arrived in their house, and Mary was disrupting the plan Martha had envisioned. Jesus can’t see me like this, the house out of order, the food not cooked to perfection, the clothes that I am wearing not good enough, etc… I don’t know if these were things that Martha was thinking about, but I know when ever my anger comes out, it usually is a reflection of not dealing peacefully with my own insecurities and insufficiencies. As Larry Gillick S.J. states:
“We are limited, fragile, quite incomplete persons and generally do not wish that personal poverty to be seen. When found less powerful, less in control, unknowing and the like, anger seems to arise either toward ourselves or toward whomever or whatever causes exposure.”
This made me think about a lot of things. What expectations did I have as a player? As a coach? Now as a parent? I know as a professional baseball player my expectations were so off the charts because my self-worth and identity was built on results of the field. Resentment, anger, and winning as means of power were all things that came up and out in the heat of competition on and off of the field. Is this the same root anger we see on the sidelines and playing fields of our youth sports today? Unreal expectations rooted in self-worth and insecurities?
Maybe anger and resentment is a collision at the intersection of our own expectations and the Truth of our severe limitations and brokenness. This happens both on and off of the fields with children, adults, and my golf game. While we have an image in our minds about the white picket fence, fairy-tale endings, and championships every season, maybe this perfection is what Martha envisioned. While Mary’s only expectation was to be with Jesus despite her brokenness. And maybe this is the only expectation that Jesus has for us. How does this reality damage our expectations? And what do we do about our anger when these human self-truths get exposed? Maybe that is why Mary is just sitting, looking into the eyes of Jesus, and Jesus looking into the eyes of Mary, with Love, despite her insufficiencies and humanity on full display.
I don’t know, but maybe Jesus was telling Martha to sit with Mary, not that Mary would do nothing but sit the rest of her days, but when experiencing, conversing, interacting, and listening to the Person of Jesus, she can then get up and “do” with a peace.
I am finding myself more and more driven by either circumstance, or more so, my insecurities to Christ. My need to listen, interact, and converse with Him grows with the more my insufficiencies are exposed. I pray that through these times with Him, it will allow me to get up and do His work, with less of an anger and resentment, but a peace in the roles of my life.
In the end, it is always about Christ. In our words or actions. In our sitting or our doing. When we are alone or with family or friends. While we are coaching or playing a sport, or watching it on TV. In the morning or in the evening. And when we are living or when we come to die. “Give me Jesus.”
